I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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