She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
