i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize