how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
