we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
