Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
