they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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