please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize