If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
