I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
