Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
