I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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