the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
