do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
