I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sober January is a disaster.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize