I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
