We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
