Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
