I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
