Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize