Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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