Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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