There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
