Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
