i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My dick has a subreddit
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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