My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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