New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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