I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
