C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
