guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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