Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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