He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
