i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just high enough for therapy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
