Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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