Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
