I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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