I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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