Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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