she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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