She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
