Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
