he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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