Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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