Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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