my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
