CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
