Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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