careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
