I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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