More tranny stories later!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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