Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
