she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
