Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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