we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
