BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
