She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
