grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
