Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
honey bunches of taint.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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