I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
