i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
