i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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