i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
