Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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